And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize