I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize