Heybabeimwearingurpanties
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
