He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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