I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
