You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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