He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
