So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
