I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
