I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
