is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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