Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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