i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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