I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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