there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
