if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
