so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
