i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
