my sisters under your porch take her home
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
