It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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