i don't like sucking hair
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
