Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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