My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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