This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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