you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
