Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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