the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
