R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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