i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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