Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
