One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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