Sry I called you an 8
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
