i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
