Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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