wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
