I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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