WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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