I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
