You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
