U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
