just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.