ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
This is my gift to your gina
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
