i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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