that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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