no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
