all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
time to smoke my breakfast
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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