So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
