Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He shit in the fireplace
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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