Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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