You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
