she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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