is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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