i already hear my dad disowning me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize