theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
