well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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