when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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