That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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