2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
