Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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