Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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