The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
