It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize